Do you start to see results right away, or are things slow at first?

It’s slow. Super slow. I have questioned the efficacy multiple times, but still after months of hard work on my part there was some progress. It was hard to see but there was some progress.

What’s it like? Is it warm and fuzzy, or cold and analytical?

It’s not warm. It’s not fuzzy. It’s not cold, and it’s not analytical.

There will be a lot of empathy, and just like medicine, that has a bitter taste, there will be pain, but it will be good for you. Best description I could provide is a scenerio where you need to perform a surgery on yourself but the best surgeons of the world have come up with a procedure to save you but they are on the phone. You can’t put yourself under anesthesia, but you have time to learn how to be a surgeon by practising on yourself.

You are never stuck with a particular therapist. Finding the right therapist for you is critical. If one isn’t working out, you need to switch. A good therapist will challenge you and provide specific things to work on outside of therapy. If they aren’t doing that, they aren’t a good therapist.

The work happens entirely outside therapy. Therapy is just a method to give you another way of thinking about certain scenarios that you can apply in the future to get out of the train of thoughts that made you feel like going to therapy in the first place. So more akin of picking up a book from the library, you still have to read it yourself.

This is very boiled down, but ultimately what I feel about therapy. I’ve been in and out of therapy for half a decade and are only now seeing benefits from it, and that mostly is due to me having the wrong idea about what therapy provides.

Different therapy forms give different tools but if you aren’t on the hunt for a specific one you’ll likely end up with CBT which fits my description the most. In VERY tough terms, if you have a good listener in your close circles you can talk to about anything it’ll come close to what CBT offers.

First, call your insurance carrier to find out who is in network, and get an idea about the costs.

Second, depending on your situation and how resilient you are, it can take years to undo learned behaviors that were used to survive or cope in your current abusive conditions. A good therapist will help you see that there are other ways to think about the things bothering you and help you develop tools to manage your emotions, set boundaries, and care for your emotional well being.

Third, it can take a while to find a provider you like. Don’t be afraid to find a new therapist if you feel like the one you have isn’t being helpful.

With respect to your insurance company, the only thing that’s going to be on file is the claim from the provider, which will list the diagnosis, and they type of service they provided, (30 minute visit, 60 minute visit.) Your claims, and explanations of benefits are protected by HIPAA law, which means only you, the insurance company, and the provider have a right to have access to those records on file with the insurance company. If your parents attempt to get those records without your permission, (a signed form,) the insurance company and provider will tell them to go fuck themselves, but in a more polite manner.

Your provider might take notes about your sessions, those are protected by HIPAA privacy law. You can expect the things you discuss with your therapist to remain private; HOWEVER, a therapist is a mandated reporter. Laws in all 50 states require a therapist to contact authorities if a patient is a danger to themselves, to others, and/or if the therapist suspects that a known child is being abused.

If your therapist is recommending medication, find a psychiatrist, do not do that shit through a primary care doctor.

You are over thinking it. Just go.

The first person you meet with might not be a match. Don’t get discouraged. You might have to meet multiple people. You’ll know when you feel ok with someone’s personality.

Multiple decades, geographies, and the retirement of a therapist as experience speaking.

Generally speaking, it’s a conversation with someone who’s capable of guiding you to better choices and responses. How “warm and cuddly” that is depends on the therapist. Trying different therapists until you find someone youre truly comfortable with is part of it all.

How quickly it “starts to work” is entirely dependent on a) How honest you are, b) how open you are to outside perspectives, and c) how much baggage you’ve got to unpack.

As an adult, you should be fully protected by doctor-patient confidentiality and HIPAA unless youre threatening yourself or others. There are very clear benchmarks for that, but ymmv depending on location. Im not from Ohio so 🤷‍♂️

If youre on the queer or autistic/adhd spectrums, try to find someone who specializes in that. They’ll know how to help you without putting you at risk.

And ALWAYS avoid free counselors. Theyre usually tied to religious charities and will steer you toward their perspectives, or put you at risk for being queer etc. Just stay away. It’s like any other trade, if theyre worth it, pay them.

Different therapists may treat you differently. They should be very receptive to your needs on that. Ask them to treat you how you want. It’s important that you feel they’re being honest with you.

Result time depends on you. For example you may partly need validation that you are in fact, doing something about your problems and that thought can kick start it. Some things come in the first week. But you’ll also hit the limit of plasticity in the brain where some things are just going to take 6 weeks or several months of dedicated effort to see results.

I have started and stopped therapy a zillion times before. People would always tell me “go to therapy”. It’s kind of insulting, honestly, as if it was some magic cure all way to dismiss me.

What I’ve found is that therapy doesn’t help if you don’t have a specific enough problem to work on!! So people would always tell me “go to therapy” and I couldn’t figure out wtf I was supposed to work on there so the therapists didn’t focus on anything helpful either.

BUT I feel like I’ve just finally discovered a specific thing I want to work on after years and years of this back and forth BS. So I researched a therapist that is said to use a specific therapy modality to treat my specific problem. We’ll see how it goes with her.

ALSO…it has been frustrating to me, but I’ve found that most therapists I’ve come across are just simply “talk therapists”. There is no real goal other than giving you validation and some general advice and vague concepts and techniques. This can be great for people…but for me it just hasn’t been helpful enough. It just doesn’t give me solid enough direction. But maybe a talk therapist is what you need…who knows?

I realize these don’t answer your questions directly, but I figured I’d share what I learned to hope if might help you. Best of luck.

First of all, different titles (e.g. psychologist, psychotherapist, social worker, counsellor, etc.) require different levels/types of education and experience and you should be able to look up whether they’re in good standing with your state/provincial/federally regulated organizations. So you can look up how long they’ve been practicing, and what qualifications they have.

Second of all, it’s common to try several before you find someone that’s a good fit. It might take a few sessions before you decide whether it’s a match.

Thirdly, be wary of anyone that seems to be asking leading questions or giving you advice on what to do. A good therapist will help you build the skills you need to come to your own decisions. No one knows your life better than you do and it’s their job to pass along the appropriate interpretation of their training on to you. They aren’t there to pass judgement on you, your life, or the people/relationships in your life.

Lastly, I wish you all the best. It took me a long time to find my current therapist and it’s been life changing. I learned a lot along the way, and I hope your journey brings you what you need.

Random thoughts in no order.

I started therapy way late in life. I wasn’t against bit in general, I just thought I was too stubborn and private to get anything out of it. Good for you starting earlier than I did.

It started out awkward but I realized this was up to me if i wanted to get any thing out of it. This person went through a lot of trouble to be in a position to help me and I could either just trust that, or I should stop wasting her time and my money.

I got lucky and found someone I could connect to on my first try. My wife had to go through a few till she got someone she felt good about. Don’t feel bad if you dont find a connection with the first few you go to. This is important enough to get right. Do a session or two till you find someone you can be open and honest with.

The one I ended up seeing for a few years was significantly younger than me but we had a couple of big things in common so it worked really well.

Its like seeing a doctor, be honest. They cant help you if you don’t tell them what’s wrong. Doctors and therapists you tell everything to, cops you say nothing to. Everyone else is a case by case thing.

I can only speak from my experience but sessions were just talking and having conversation about what was going on in my head and life. Sometimes she’d suggest a book or something, but mostly she’s ask a few questions and let me work out what was up. Like, she knew the questions to ask to get me thinking about untangling my knots. It wasn’t her making notes about my problems and giving me solutions. Though she did have a few exercises to suggest I do that helped as well.

Once I let my ego or whatever go and started being honest with her and myself, I started feeling better pretty quick. Thats not to say my problems were solved or I had shit figured out, just that I felt like I was actually doing something about it. And that felt good. Like there was a better way to do things if I put in the work to relearn some habits and understand why I did things one way instead of another.

Good luck with this.

Its a human experience so it depends on the person you talk to a lot. Reflect on the experience and communicate your needs. Don’t be intimidated by the therapist, you’re there to improve your situation. Dont give up if your first therapy is a bad experience / you dont vibe with the therapist, try a different one. Unfruitful therapy doesnt have to be anyone’s fault, sometimes its just not a good mix.

Everything @A_Union_of_Kobolds@lemmy.world said. For me I used a website to book 6 consultations with different therapists (15 minutes each) to figure out who I like that could work with my insurance, too. Having quick chats helped me figure out who was good for me and I’ve been seeing them ever since.

First of all, congratulation for taking the courage and charge and going for therapy! That by itself shows your dedication and determination 👍

Already many excellent answers here by others.

I would add, that you may ask about the way how therapy in their version is supposed to work. Otherwise you may just miss the essence of their questions and the whole thing would be ruined. So asking at the very beginning may be super helpful.

I think my only advice is don’t be afraid to go with your gut when picking someone, even if it feels judgmental or irrational. This is one of the things in life where your own comfort is paramount as a starting point.

Feel more comfortable talking to a man, or to a woman? Go with that. Do you get a weird vibe you can’t explain from someone? Go with that and look for someone else.

It’s also OK to look for another one if you don’t like the first one. Just make sure the reason isn’t because they’re making you confront difficult things. That’s the whole point.

Good luck, and I hope you get some positive things from it. It’s not easy, and it can be uncomfortable, but I personally have gotten a lot of clarity from it. Remember that only you can change you, though. All the therapist can do is reveal your patterns to you and give you coping strategies.