Nuts

yup

reflection in the window was facing the wrong way so she decided to spray “holy water”

And this kind of thing happens often enough that she carries holy water on her all the time? 'K ‘mam we’re gonna need you to take your meds’

OMG

OP’s phone:

Number of people were doing at that my work (which is annoying when you’re new and don’t realize that "Jimmy"is “Kyle” in AD; but most HR tools allow you to select a “Preferred” name and then publish to AD)