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Joined 2 years ago
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Cake day: July 4th, 2023

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  • This is actually a very significant factor. The guideline is that an ocean freighter spotted on the horizon will be on you in five minutes (guideline, we know the math doesn’t exactly check out). That doesn’t leave a lot of margin for being away from the helm or distracted while on watch.


  • Ocean-going sailor here. Some people might be surprised how often some people have trouble avoiding huge ships. These days, we have modern systems such as AIS, Doppler radar, proximity alarms, and all can be integrated into autopilot. Yet there are still so many stories of near-misses with tankers, freighters, and container ships.







  • The purpose(s) that drive me are:

    • share helpful knowledge and experience where they’re welcome
    • sow beauty and light where I can
    • hopefully bring levity, a chuckle, and maybe a way out when things are dark
    • build strong communities wherever I can
    • elevate those around me and hopefully improve their day
    • strive to leave my spheres of influence better than I found them
    • find the positive or at least an opportunity for me to learn
    • enjoy the trip

  • I had a partner for eight years. We met when we were both 31. She was my first monogamous relationship theretofore because I decided to give monogamy a try. She was utterly, screamingly boring in bed. There was nothing else notably wrong with the relationship, except for her unwillingness to communicate on anything beyond household, workaday topics. No oral (give or receive), no anal, not into foreplay, and she would just lay there. But no conflicts either. There was the advantage of she was always willing and ready to go without any foreplay or lube. She got off and claimed she was absolutely sexually satisfied. Sex wasn’t even fun in the context of Free Use, which is a kink I enjoy. I tried to engage her in all kinds of Gottman Method relationship work, but she bluntly and explicitly refused.

    At one point early in our relationship, she moved and clamped her vagina in a way that was quite enjoyable. “Honey, that was great! Please do that more.” And for the rest of our relationship, any such complement was a sure-fire way to make sure it would never happen again. After eight years of nearly daily, invariably terrible sex, I stopped approaching her sex for three weeks. She never said a thing. On day 22, I broke up with her, and she was absolutely gobsmacked, claimed that I was throwing away eight years of great history. She hadn’t even noticed that there had been no sex for three weeks.