Schmidt’s index is full of brilliant stuff.

Red Fire Ant: Sharp, sudden, mildly alarming. Like walking across a shag carpet and reaching for the light switch.

Tropical Fire Ant: You should have learned, but the carpet is the same, and when you again reach for the light switch, the shock mocks you.

Southern Fire Ant: It happens on the third day, as you reach for the light switch, and you’re wondering when you will ever learn.

Giant Ant: A pulsing sting with some flavour. You stepped into a salt bath with an open wound.

Glorious Velvet Ant: Instantaneous, like the surprise of being stabbed. Is this what shrapnel feels like?

Warrior Wasp: Torture. You are chained in the flow of an active volcano. Why did I start this list?

Tarrantula Hawk Wasp: Blinding, fierce, shockingly electric. A running hair dryer has just been dropped into your bubble bath.

Absolute lunatic.