FASTERISCK!

Sinceriously the best

My previous boss showed me the job listing and said that it was better than anything he could offer, and told me to apply for it out else he’d lose respect for me.

I’ll have what I’m having!

I couldn’t resist

Well, they actually skirt the rules to stay out of the record books. They say it’s good strategy, but I think they’re all cheetahs.

When I drop something on the floor and then blow on it in short soft bursts, it’s suddenly clean enough to consume.